MotorCity Mafia

I have played my last hand of poker. It is time to find a new source of income.

One without extreme disappointment and longshot odds.

What is driving this?

In addition to me being generally tired of playing with bad players, drunks, and scumbags?

I have taken some brutal bad beats lately. Especially yesterday.

I lose to the worst players and they give the money away almost as fast as they win it.

And they win by sheer dumb luck.

Tournaments. Cash games. It is all the same. The only thing these players know is they have a better chance of winning on a 989-to-1 runner-runner longshot than they do at playing slots. So they play poker.

The sickening thing for me is I played a perfect game yesterday for 10 hours. Not a single mistake.

Every read was accurate.

Hell, I even laid down A-A on the flop when I felt another player flopped a set of 4s.

Yet, it was a losing session.

I had 7 runner-runner longshot bad beat hands in a row.

Seven.

No one takes extreme bad beats like that on seven consecutive hands.

One could argue variance and cluster.

I argue curse.

The only reasonable answer is this: I am the unluckiest person in poker.

If Gus Hansen can give up poker, then I can too.

Seat open.

Remember the Bob Seger song Mary Lou?

It reminds me of how people play pocket Queens wrong. It goes something like this:

I’m gonna tell you a story ’bout Mary Lou
You know the kind of woman make a fool of you
She make a young man itch
She man an old man faint
The way she took my money was a crying shame
Mary Lou she took my watch and chain
Mary Lou she took my diamond ring
Mary Lou she took the keys to my Cadillac car
Jumped in my kitty and drove off far

I watched one player go broke with Queens last night.

Twice.

Another player raises to $12 in early position and gets seven callers. Including me.

The flop comes 10d-8h-7h.

There is a potential straight on board and a flush draw.

Any player with a straight draw and flush draw has at least 13 outs to make any pocket pair a 40% dog.

This player is first to act and bets $25 into a $100 pot.

She gave anyone on a draw or anyone that is a 4-to-1 dog at least 5-to-1 on their money.

Everyone folds around to me.

I call.

The turn is 2s.

My opponent bets out $50.

“You have pocket Kings or Queens. Feels like Queens. I raise you all-in for another $100,” I say.

She stares me down.

“You have Queens, right?”

“I can’t get away from this hand,” she says.

“Let me help you,” I say.

I show 9h.

She stares at the board. Stares at my 9. Then calls.

I admit I was trying to get her to lay the hand down.

I was on a draw, but confident I would win the hand.

Now, when there is a straight and flush draw on board AND someone calls your hand, how could you call?

I mean, if someone ever called my hand (which still has not happened yet) AND they are playing back at me, I would fold!

Not this lady. She could not get away from a lousy pair.

Truth be told, I needed any 6, 9, 10, Jack, or heart to make my hand. That is 20 outs.

The river? Jack baby.

I turn over the Ten and say “Straight.”

Had she bet $100 or even $50 on the flop, I go away. Probably.

Instead of winning a small pot, she lost a big one.

I am amazed at how people mis-play these hands.

They underplay them at the start then overplay them when a completed hand, like a straight or flush, hits the board.

Big Bob was right. The ladies are trouble, unless they are treated right.

I tried an experiment yesterday to confirm what I already know.

What the hell, I was bored.

Brunson’s Super System says you cannot put a play on a weak player. You must showdown the best hand.

This, I already know from playing with weak players.

Sometimes, I need validation.

I am in a hand with a guy that raises to $20 pre-flop.

I call.

A player behind makes it $40 to go.

The original raiser and I both call.

The flop is As-Ks-9h.

The original raiser checks.

I bet hoping to represent an Ace or a King.

Both players call.

The turn is a Queen. The Queen of spades.

The original raiser gets excited and bets the pot.

Ok, there is a straight, a flush, and a royal flush on board.

I re-raise him all-in.

The player behind folds J-J.

The original raiser looks confused.

“You have a set of Queens, huh?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I can get away from this hand.”

I started laughing.

“Dude, there is a straight, flush, and royal flush on board. What is there to think about?”

He calls.

The river is a blank.

He shows me the Q-Q.

I laughed again and threw away my hand: J-2.

“I thought you had a straight or a flush. Whew! I thought I was beat,” this guy says.

“Then why did you call?”

Typical.

You can tell how a person plays cards by the way they tip (or don’t tip) the dealers.

Players in the casino for the first time generally do not tip the dealers at all.

Drunks and donkeys tend to tip too much.

Grinders and rounders tend to tip the right amount.

So, the question is how much to tip and why.

The first thing I do when I am in a poker room for the first time is find out their rules and procedures. I ask floor management a bunch of questions. I want to know what goes and what does not.

I find out if the dealers pool their tips or keep the tokes they earn themselves.

Most card rooms force the dealers to pool tips.

I am bit more stingy in the pooled version. This is because some dealers are better than others.

And some are just plain awful.

A competent dealer can deal at least 30 hands an hour with no misdeals, is friendly, and has complete control over the action at the table.

My guideline for tipping competent dealers is simple: the tip amount is equal to the small blind.

If the dealer is better than competent and keeps their own tips, then I will tip an amount equal to the big blind. This is the exception.

In a $1-$2 game at 30 hands an hour, the dealer is making $30 an hour in tips, or over 3X their base salary. That is fair.

Plus, if you are playing for money and not the thrill of victory, you are already losing $5 a pot to the rake and bad beat jackpot. It is hard enough to beat the rake let alone bleed off chips to excessive tipping.

Keep the tips limited to the small blind amount - big blind max.

If you are a regular player at a poker room, and want to do more, then do what I do: Give the dealer a Christmas card with a cash gift at the end of the year (assuming the year was profitable).

Sometimes, things just work out.

I am in a no limit game last night. Heads up against a player on my immediate left.

I have a small pocket pair.

My read is my opponent is holding A-X.

The board is five blanks. No Aces, no paint.

I check call all the way.

On the river, I feel my pair is good.

When I show the pair, I get a speech.

“How could you call with just a lousy pair?” he asks.

“How could you bet with just Ace high?” I respond.

He goes on tilt.

The very next hand, I four bet.

This same opponent pushes all-in.

The action folds to me and I call.

He shows Q-Q.

I turn the cards over so an Ace is showing.

I then slide the Ace off to my right to expose the bottom card.

Another Ace.

And, another speech.

“Dammit. I finally get a pocket pair and you just had to have Aces this time!”

Again, the board was five blanks.

In both hands, my opponent overplayed his hand.

He could have saved alot of money by checking the turn and river on the first hand if he did not pair his hole cards.

On the second hand, the right play was call pre-flop, then fold to my all-in on the flop if he did not hit a set.

Within 48 hours of my first cash and first 1st place in a tournament, I won my second tournament!

My play was solid and I was completely in the zone.

I lost only four hands during the six hour tournament. I had my money in good for those four hands and got outdrawn.

Like cash game sessions, tournaments come down to a couple key hands - a couple key decisions.

Here are my two key hands that helped propel me to the final table:

The pivot point centered on the third break when we were at three tables, down from nine.

We were only a few players away from going down to two tables.

I was moved to a new table. I was slightly ahead of the chip leader at this new table.

The blinds and antes were quite high at this point.

Right before the break, I call a min raise from a player that I feel has a pocket pair.

I have K-Q of clubs.

The flop comes with two clubs.

I have 15 outs to hit a higher pair or a flush. I am a 60% favorite to win the hand.

I also have position on my opponent.

He pushes all-in.

“You have pocket Jacks or pocket 10s,” I tell him. “I am a 60% favorite to win with two over cards and a flush draw.”

His all-in was for half my stack.

At this point in the tournament, I did not want to risk half my stack on a draw even though the math makes it a “good” call. If I lost, I would still have the average chip stack. But, I wanted to coast to the final table.

I fold and show.

My opponent shows J-J.

When I returned from the break, the dealer did a Rabbit Hunt and told me I would have lost the draw.

The first hand back from break, I am in the big blind with 9-9.

Action folds around to the button who raises to $45,000.

It did not feel like a steal. The raise told me he had some kind of Ace.

I min raise to $90,000.

My opponent calls.

No re-raise all-in tells me he definitely does not have a pocket pair.

He has at least an Ace in the hole.

I figure he is pot committed since he has half his stack in before the flop.

My bet is about 1/3 of my stack.

“I have two overs to your pair,” my opponent tells me.

This was his first mistake in the hand: telling me what he is holding.

I now put him on a big Ace.

We stare each other down from across the table. Behind our sunglasses, we glance down to see the board. Our heads, however, never move.

The flop comes K-Q-7 rainbow.

I check.

My opponent checks.

Now, if he had A-K or A-Q, he would have bet. Frankly, I was expecting a continuation bet.

No bet on the flop was his second mistake of the hand.

At this point, I put him on A-J or A-10.

If I see an Ace, Jack, or Ten - any of which gives him either a bigger pair or a straight, I am done with the hand.

The turn card is an 8.

I check.

He checks.

The river card is a 2.

No flush possibilities.

If I bet, he folds.

I check hoping to trap him into second guessing his read. I want him to put me on something like A-9 suited.

My opponent fires out $70,000 of the $90,000 or so he has left.

The trap play worked.

“I am all-in,” I declare.

He folds in disgust. His cards were so high in the air, I could see an Ace.

“You had Ace Jack right?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“You were beat the whole way.”

I showed the 9-9.

Normally, I would not show, but I wanted to show him and the table that I “had it” figuring it would help me later in the tournament.

With him not betting me off the hand on the flop or turn, I now had the dominant chip lead.

All I had to do was go on cruise control all the way to the money.

This tournament paid the top 9.

Once we got to the final table, the players decided to give the bubble player $20 each. I thought the gesture was very cool.

That was enough money to pay for the tournament buy-in plus $100 profit for the afternoon.

As for the rest of us, we played another couple rounds to the next break.

I had the chip lead, but two others were very close in stacks. The rest of the table were about even in chips.

The next round was alot of folding due to the high blinds and antes.

Guys are trying to read hands blind when someone raised.

“You had a pair,” one player says.

“No, he had Ace Queen,” I say.

The player shows Ace Queen.

We go on break.

I see the players huddled up but I don’t think much of it.

Right before we sit down again, a friend of mine pulls me aside.

“Sammy, you fucked up.”

“How so?”

“You really need to stop reading hands blind. It is going to cost you money.”

“Just trying to establish a table image with my new opponents,” I reply.

“We had a meeting. They do not want to tangle with you. We want to chop.”

With 8 players agreeing to chop, I obliged. We all took down the equivalent of second place money.

Not bad for 6 hours of play.

When you play poker in a casino, you need to know the rules.

The House Rules are posted in plain view.

Read them before you play in a card room for the first time. It will save you money and heartache.

This week alone, I saw four blunders that cost each player involved their hard earned money.

Rules vary from casino to casino. What is acceptable in one is forbidden in another.

Here is what happened this week:

Monday

A player is first to act in three-way action. He bets $100 after the flop and shows one card.

The dealer scoops the $100 into the pot and mucks the player’s hand.

The remaining two players did not have to act on the bet.

The rule is, to avoid collusion, cards cannot be exposed in multi-way action.

When you do this, you just declared your hand dead.

Tuesday

A player sitting across from the dealer did not protect his cards by placing a chip on top.

One of the first rules in any card room is it is the PLAYER’S RESPONSIBILITY to PROTECT their hand at ALL times.

Long story short, this player did not protect his hand, and after investing $300 in a hand by the turn, the dealer thought he was folding on the river and took his cards. Once they hit the muck, it is a dead hand.

He claims to of had A-A, which would have been the winning hand.

Instead of taking a $1000 pot home, he took the bus home.

Wednesday

This scenario happened twice on this day: A player checks the winning hand on the river, declares what he has, and I show the losing hand.

The player then mucks his hand and waits for the pot.

Since he mucked and I showed, I win the pot.

Hee haw.

Thursday

A player was on his cell phone when the cards came out.

The dealer warned him twice to get off the phone.

This player had A-A and ignored the dealer.

The dealer waited a good 30 seconds to deal the flop.

Floor management happened to be standing at the table.

The dealer had no choice but to warn the player a third time and deal the flop.

Once the flop hit, the player bet $100.

Instead of getting off his phone, he got off the hand.

The dealer grabbed his cards and mucked them.

The cards and the money were gone in a flash.

Know the rules.

I have only played a few poker tournaments in my career. One final table and no cashes.

That is, until yesterday.

On the entire drive to the event, I told myself I was going to win this one. Like Little Boy Blue, I needed the money.

From the first hand, I was getting frustrated with the bad play at my table. These guys were over-betting with K-3 off in early position. I just wanted to play competitive poker, not bingo.

So, I walk up to the Tournament Director and ask if there are any unsold stacks at one of the other tables. To my delight, there was.

“Ok, I am going to put it in dark on the next hand. Just get me off this table,” I tell him.

I rarely get tilty, but I was running on a few hours sleep and got frustrated. I just knew that I was going to end up putting my money in good and somebody was going to knock me out with a trash hand because they are there for fun.

I am there to compete and win.

With the Tournament Director standing behind me with my buy-in money and my new seat card, I push the entire stack in.

I lose the hand, but have $75 of the $8000 left.

“Ok, next hand,” I say.

I put it in dark. And win.

This goes on for several hands. Me trying to knock myself out dark.

Several hands later, I have $10,000 or so in chips.

“Guess you don’t need the rebuy,” the Director tells me. “You got what you wanted. I need you to move to a short-handed table.”

Sweet.

The new table had very solid players. I got in the zone.

In my head, I hear “If you want to win, then start playing like a winner.” My conscience was right. I had a fresh start.

And then I went on an incredible run.

With $300,000 chips in play, I went from $75 in chips to over $200,000 making me the dominant chip leader.

I had about 2/3 of the chips in play when the top four cashed at the final table.

To put this in perspective, I went from 0.025% of the chips in play as the short stack to about 67%.

That is a 2680X comeback.

How did I do it?

Simple: I caught cards when I needed them and outplayed my opponents after the flop.

My first cash resulted in a first place.

I was so happy!!

I shared the good news with my friend Barry who also played the tournament. He gave me a big hug and congratulated me. Barry was genuinely happy I won, especially under the short-stack circumstances.

From the moment I changed tables to the end, I simply outplayed the table - some of my best poker play ever.

There was no bracelet, but my 7 year old son is commemorating the victory by wearing his “My Dad is the Man” T-shirt to school today.

My first cash. And my first win.

My table games payout form sums it up nicely. It simply says “1st”.

I hear talk all the time about playing the player.

Where many fall short is they think they can take a marginal hand and outplay weaker players that are calling stations.

It won’t work.

You need to have the stone cold nuts against these types of players.

That said, it is HOW you play the nuts against the players that makes the difference.

I was in two hands with two different players yesterday where I flopped the nuts.

The first hand, I just sat down in the big blind with J-10 hearts.

A player in middle position had the look of a cocky “let me give you poker lessons” type guy.

He raises pre-flop and gets several callers, including me.

The flop comes 9-8-7 rainbow.

I could tell from his tells that he flopped either two pair or a set.

He starts stacking up chips.

I decide that check raising him may lose him as a customer.

So, I bet half the pot.

He plays back at me with a min raise.

Everyone folds around to me.

I also know that if I jaw at him, he will go on insta-tilt and give me all his money.

“I am not used to people playing back at me Sir,” I say. “Frankly, it pisses me off. I re-raise $100.”

He glares at me for a brief moment and shoves $200 in the pot.

I push the rest of my stack into the pot and he insta-calls.

“You have Jack Ten?” he asks after he is all-in.

“The stone cold nuts, Sir.”

“Pair the board,” he says to the dealer sheepishly.

I knew before he turned over his hand that he had flopped top set.

The board never paired and I doubled up.

Second hand: My big game broke and I was sent to another table at a smaller game.

My first hand under the gun was A-A.

I raise to $25 and get two callers: One to my left and one to my right.

The player to my left gives me the impression that he could care less what I am holding. He is playing his hand against the board.

The player to my right gives me the impression that he will go away if he does not hit a flop.

The flop comes A-4-4.

Just what I was hoping for. My A-A is easy to play now. But how to play it?

If it was the player in the first example, I would bet it hard knowing he will come over the top if he had an Ace, a 4, a straight draw, a flush draw, or any pocket pair.

But, I am dealing with a different animal now.

I check the nuts.

The player to my left bets the pot.

The player to my right folds.

I need to tell a story of weakness and uncertainty to my opponent.

This is kind of hard because there is roughly $2000 on the table and I have $800 of it in front of me.

But, I give a performance that could earn an Oscar.

I finally call.

I never looked at the board again so I have no clue what came on the turn and river.

I studied my opponent.

My opponent never looked at me. His eyes were focused on the board the entire hand.

I check both streets.

He bet off all his chips to me.

All I had to do is hesitate and call.

Boy, was he pissed when I showed him Aces full.

I spared him the Teddy KGB “Aces foolah” showdown re-enactment from the opening scene of Rounders.

He never showed. I suspect he had either a 4 or an Ace, or maybe A-4. It is hard to say if he had the case Ace or not, but I knew I was good all the way the moment the flop hit the felt.

After the session, he told me he had A-K. It is nearly impossible to put someone on A-A when you have an Ace and the case Ace is on the board. This is one of the reasons why I rarely play A-K.

Play the player. But have the nuts to back it up.

I see people play pocket Aces wrong everyday.

Some overplay them.

Some underplay them.

All seem to get their bullets cracked.

Today, I am going to tell the story of how some are too cold (underplay), too hot (overplay), and just right.

I am in a game and someone in middle position min raises.

The opponent on his immediate left min raises the min raise.

I call with K-10 diamonds knowing the original raiser will probably just call giving me roughly 3-to-1 with the dead money in the pot.

I was not sure what the first raiser had beyond possible suited connectors, but I could tell the re-raiser had a hand like A-A.

Everyone else folds and we see a relatively cheap flop.

Now, if I don’t hit my flop, I fold. What do I mean by hitting the flop?

Two pair or better.

King Ten is not a great hand, but I could flop two pair, a flush, trips, or a straight. All these hands crack Aces.

The flop comes K-10-10.

The first bettor checks.

Mr. Aces bets about a quarter the pot.

So far, he has underplayed his Aces because he is afraid they will get cracked. It is too big a starting hand for the experience level of this particular player. This I know.

I also know this guy is not experienced enough to fold A-A. So, I move all-in.

The first bettor folds and Mr. Bullets calls. And loses with his A-A.

There is a blonde young lady sitting my immediate right. We never played together before.

“That was kind of a donkey move with K-10,” Goldilocks says.

Before I could respond with a technical answer that would have borderlined on a speech, a player two seats to my left pipes up in my defense.

“Listen. I played with this guy before. He knew he could outplay both players after the flop. It is that simple.”

Wow. Very cool. I am always grateful when I manage to earn respect at the table. He summed it up and nailed it dead on.

That was the story of too cold.

This is the story of too hot.

A few hands later, the weakest player at the table raises way too much preflop. I put him on A-A.

Truth be told, I can’t outplay this guy after the flop. Why? He is a calling station.

I feel good about my hand. It is a shitty hand, but it feels like it will be good. So I call.

The flop comes 7-6-4 rainbow.

My opponent acts first and jams the pot - I mean really overbetting here.

There is a straight out there. Why play the Aces fast if someone already has a made straight?

What if someone played suited connectors and has top two pair?

Either check or bet half the pot with the Aces. If someone calls, then check or fold on Fourth Street.

Why lose all your money on a lousy pair?

I mean, if I someone has a made straight, it is a 989-to-1 longshot to go runner runner full house.

That translates into every dollar you bet, there has to be $989 in the pot to make it a profitable bet over the long run.

I call.

“Did you hit a straight?” he asks.

“Did you overplay pocket Aces?” I respond.

He is all-in and shows A-A.

I show 8-5 off for the nut straight.

I take it down. Oh, I got a speech too.

Now, here is the pocket Aces that are just right.

I get A-A in the big blind.

The player under the gun min raises and gets three callers.

The action is now on me.

I bet the pot. It is not too much or too little.

The only hands that can call me are big pocket pairs or A-X.

I am hoping for the A-K, A-Q, A-J type hands here heads-up.

Why?

This may seem counter-intuitive, but I want them to have a big Ace. Sure, it leaves me with a one-outer, but I don’t want to see any Aces on board.

An Ace on board, by definition, means there is at least two cards to a straight.

Instead, I want them to pair up and have only two outs to beat me with trips.

Two outs going to the turn means I am a 92% favorite to win and 95% ahead going to the river.

Back to the action: The player under the gun calls and everyone else folds.

Almost perfect. I am heads-up but out of position.

I put him on a hand like K-Q or possibly A-Q. In short, he has a nice hand but no pocket pair.

The flop comes Q-8-3 rainbow.

This flop is just right for my hand. It possibly gives my opponent top pair top kicker.

There is no way he put me on A-A by the way I played it.

He will have a hard time putting me on Q-Q if he has a Queen with one on board.

Now, If this flop was paired or had a straight or flush possibly, I am ready to fold with no more betting.

Why?

If my opponent had suited connectors and the flop was a possible straight and flush, he has at least 13 outs to beat me. This means he is a 52% favorite to win the hand even though I have the best hand on the flop. I don’t put my chips in on a coin flip.

So, I have a safe flop. The perfect flop for A-A.

I check.

My opponent bets big.

Ok. He has top pair and a really good kicker. It does not feel like two pair or a set.

I pause a while.

The pause makes all the difference here. An eager reaction tells everyone I have an over-pair to the board. I might as well expose my cards before acting.

A calm pause with slow, calculated hand movements disguises the strength of my hand.

Then I play back at him.

I raise by 150% of his bet.

It is not a min raise and it is not an overbet either.

The bet is enough to confuse my opponent.

“Do you really have a set of Queens?” he asks.

“Why would I bet you off the hand with top set?” I reply.

“That can’t be the case Queen. I am all-in,” he says.

He just told me had just a Queen.

I insta-call and show A-A.

He shows what I was hoping for: A-Q.

The way it played out, not a single player put me on A-A.

I did not overplay it. I did not underplay it.

Like any other hand, I was ready to fold on the flop if there was trouble out there.

I wonder if Goldilocks would have called me a donkey for the way I played the Aces.