“You don’t hear much about guys who take their shot and miss. But I’ll tell you what happens to them. They end up humping crappy jobs on graveyard shifts trying to figure out how they came up short. See, I had this picture in my head. Me sitting at the big table. Doyle to my left. Amarillo Slim to my right. Playing in the World Series. And I let that vision blind me at the table against KGB. Now, the closest I get to Vegas is west New York, driving this lousy route handed down from Knish to rounders who forget the cardinal fucking rule … always leave yourself outs.”

This quote runs through my head every time I feel compelled to push all-in preflop. Always leave yourself outs. The cardinal fucking rule.

“The key to the game is playing the man, not the cards. A brilliant player can get a strong hand cracked, go on tilt, and lose his mind along with every single chip in front of him.”

This is so true, but it only applies to No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em. Limit games are more mechanical. Even spread limit games are tough to play the player because of the betting limits.

I generally lose if I get tilty. I often see other players that get emotional at the table and proceed to donk off all their chips.

This tilt quote, for me, is a universal law. And it works both ways. Put the other players on tilt, but never go on tilt yourself. When I get tilty, I rack up and leave. With chips.

“Guys around here will tell you, you play for a living; it’s like any other job. You don’t gamble. You grind it out. Your goal is to win one big bet an hour. That’s it. Get your money in when you have the best of it. Protect it when you don’t. Don’t give anything away. A true grinder.”

This means playing very few hands. Hand selection and position are important to being a true grinder; a rounder. I play six hands an hour with the expectation I will fold five on the flop and win only one.

I particularly like the “you don’t gamble” part. I don’t chase gutshot straights, runner-runner flushes, or any other longshot. Those hands are not profitable over the long run.

“Listen. Here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.”

Easy games. Tough games. Home games. Casino games. Crooked games. Straight games. Every game has at least one sucker at the table. Even the High Stakes Poker television show has a sucker at the table in every episode.

To play profitably, you have to know who you can beat at the table. And who you can’t beat.

More often than not, we start imitating characters from Rounders. Like Teddy KGB’s “Check. Check. Check.”

Inevitably, I make a comment about how Matt Damon’s narration tells you everything you need to know to play profitable poker.

This is when I get the blank stares.

What the hell? I like to watch the movie just about once a week.

To that end, I will be blogging for the next couple weeks on these gems.

There are so many great quotes, to do it in one post would result in a very long post.

I want to keep it simple and easy to reference these critical tips.

I have created a new category here called “Rounders”. There, you will find all the posts that will contain these important quotes from the movie.

After I complete this project, I will be back to discussing hands from the table.

He is a very solid player and could easily promote himself to the Rounder category of card player. (He does not need the money and plays mostly for fun)

Here is what he wrote:

I have my $300 buy-in in front of me. The table is wild with bluffs and big bets.

The guy to my right bets $10 preflop and I CORRECTLY put him on A-K.

I have 7-4 suited and there are 5 players to the flop.

The flop is K-7-4 rainbow.

The A-K bets $20 into a $50 pot.

I’m next to act and raise to $80 to get rid of everybody else.

Everyone folds except the original bettor. He re-raises me $100.

I do not put him on K-K for top set. He would have bet harder preflop with that hand. I go back to my original read of A-K.

I push all in.

He calls and shows A-K and sighs when he sees my two pair.

The turn is a deuce.

He hits an Ace on the river.

I read everything right, got all my money in being a 4-to-1 favorite and lost.

How would you have played it?

In short, you got unlucky.

That said, here are my thoughts:

The wild nature of the table was not a factor here. You were dealing with a below average player, at best, that was obsessed with A-K.

Why do I say that? With your strong table image and you playing back at me on the flop, I would have given you credit for at least two pair or a set.

You are not the K-7 or K-4 kind of guy. So, I would have played it safe and put you on a set of 4s or set of 7s. My A-K would have been in the muck.

I would have played it the same. You got unlucky.

But, I probably would not have played 7-4 suited in early position (or any position) with a wild table like that.

If I was feeling frisky AND was playing with their money and not my original buy-in, I may have played the hand.

The problem with having suited connectors with one or two in the gut is they are not profitable hands over the long run. With two in the gut, you can hit only one nut straight.

Compare that to a J-10 where you can hit five straights and four of them are the nuts.

When I am at a table with bad players, the range of hands I normally play gets reduced by 67%.

If the table of bad players is a wild one, I reduce it again by 67%.

This translates into playing 8-8 or better and J-10 suited or better from late position.

I cannot recall the last time my bottom two pair held up when someone flopped top pair. Bottom two is a dangerous hand. If the board pairs or they hit their other hole card, it all over baby.

Until recently, I took refuge with the fact that I put the money in good and could only be beat with pure luck.

How many times does one have to get unlucky with less than premium hands against bad players?

That experience forced me to tighten up my game.

And even then, luck is a factor.

Just like when I was at a wild table of bad players and got it in good on the flop with A-A and got beat by a player under the gun that called $100 preflop in a $1-$2 game with J-8 offsuit to protect their $10 straddle.

Plays more than 8 hands an hour;

Sees every flop at any cost;

Can’t laydown big pairs like A-A, K-K, Q-Q, or J-J when the correct move is fold;

Always calls and never raises;

Doubles or triples up (or better) but always leaves the poker room scratching their broke ass;

Are you a solid player or a donkey?

My first hand was A-A. It held up for a $100 profit.

Then, it was all downhill from there.

Missed flops and forced blinds took me down to even.

Then up another hundo.

Back down to even.

Up a couple hundo.

Then down to the felt.

It was a terrible session for me. A combination of bad players and my fatigue.

There was, however, some symmetry to the session.

My last hand was A-A.

I could see an aggressive player stacking chips behind me for a pre-flop raise. So, I call a $10 straddle.

With nearly $100 in the pot, this player bets the pot.

The straddler calls.

I smooth call.

That was mistake #1. I should have popped it right there, knowing all the chips will be going in anyways.

Terrible flop: J-10-6 rainbow.

The straddler puts me all-in.

I am way ahead with A-A over J-8 off.

Bam! The turn is an 8 and the river is a 5.

Hee haw to the pinche burro grandes.

All night long, I got unlucky.

I take responsibility, though. I should have left with a small profit when I started feeling tired.

And, when the game changed to a bunch of drunk donks thinking they were on ESPN, I should have left.

If donkey brutality was a crime, the jail here would be full.

Here are two hands I was in the other night. Each time I had 9-9 up against inexperienced players, each with 10-10.

In the first hand, I am out of position, but raise big to represent something like Q-Q or J-J.

I get one caller pre-flop. I put him on a bigger pair than me or some kind of Ace.

The flop comes J-7-2 rainbow.

“I am all-in,” I declare.

“Why the push?” he asks.

“Because I do not want you drawing out on me for a bigger set,” I reply.

My opponent puts me on a set of Jacks and folds. He shows 10-10 like it was some kind of monster laydown.

A player at the table laughs and says, “Sammy probably just had pocket nines,”

“Hold it!” my opponent says, “Did you have nines?”

With his cards safely in the muck and the pot pushed to me, I show nines.

“The game is hold EM not hold IT,” I say with a smile.

He goes on tilt.

Hand number 2.

A player to my immediate right raises pre-flop.

The right play for me was call or fold. Most of the time, anyways.

To help tell the story of “I have K-K or A-K”, I need to re-raise before the flop.

Plus, I have position on this player.

He calls.

The flop comes K-7-4 rainbow.

My opponent does not seem to be bothered by the King. He bets.

I call.

As always, I studied my opponent as the turn card came out. I could tell he did not like it.

Without looking at the board, I bet half the pot.

My opponent folds and shows 10-10.

No speech. No speculation.

I fold the nines and see that an Ace hit the turn.

In both cases, my opponents made the right decision; the safe decision.

A stronger player with the tens may have read my play as making a play.

Then again, maybe not.

My bankroll was up overall. But, I came up short in the tournament.

I had not lost a hand until the final table.

With the overwhelming chip lead but still out of the money, I am in the big blind with 9-7 off.

With two limpers, we see a flop of Q-9-7 rainbow.

The small blind checks.

I overbet the pot to give any caller only 1.5-to-1 pot odds.

The third player in the hand pushes all-in. It was about 30% of my stack to call.

Like a donkey, I call. The small blind folded.

He shows K-Q and gives himself a speech about knowing better.

The turn is a blank.

I got unlucky when a King came on the river.

I came up short.

After going card dead, I blinded my way to last place.

Another tournament where I should have finished first had it not been for good old fashioned luck by a less experienced player.

I had it in good. Again.

At least it was not a runner-runner longshot …

Next time, I hope I do not come up short.