Lousy cards.
Lousy players.
Lousy dealers.
I hear players say these phrases all the time at the table. Here is my tale from yesterday’s session:
Lousy cards
I could not hit a flop with a shotgun. Missed every draw when I had a playable hand. And playable hands were quite scarce to begin with. It was a sign of things to come. A bad sign.
Lousy players
The players were unusually bad yesterday. After watching the player to my immediate left play every single pot to the river at any cost for three hours, I decide to play super aggressive when I had a hand.
I get 6-7 clubs and raise to $50. This is high for a $1-2 game. He calls.
I flop the nut straight: 9-8-5 rainbow. I bet $100. He calls.
I tell the player I flopped the nuts. “I can’t fold this hand,” he says.
The turn is an 8. I don’t put him on a full house, but I do think he has an 8.
“I still have the nuts,” I tell him as I pump out another $100.
“I am sure you do but I have to call,” he says.
“No shame in folding, Sir. I don’t want you to draw out on me with a miracle 1000-to-1 longshot.”
He still calls.
The river is yet another 8.
I check.
He bets.
I turn my cards over and put a chip on them. “See? I told you I flopped the nuts. You got lucky with quads, huh?
He is in seat 10 and mucks his hand.
“That is a dead hand,” I say.
Well, there is a loophole in the gaming laws. A mucked hand is not a mucked hand. If the mucked hand is retrievable by the dealer and it turns out to be the winning hand, the player that mucked wins.
The hand was retrievable. My opponent had A-8 offsuit.
Lousy dealers
I am last to act with Q-Q. I raise and get two callers.
I am in seat 9 and the dealer is having a conversation with seat 10, who is also in the hand.
The flop comes Q-Q-9.
Seat 10 bets $100. The next player min raises.
I call.
The turn is a 9.
Seat 10 bets $100. The next player min raises again.
I call.
The river is an Ace.
Seat 10 bets $100. The next player min raises again.
I announce all-in.
My cards are behind the betting line with a chip on them.
I first grab my chip stacks, then I pick up the chip on the cards and push the bet over the betting line.
“What are you doing, Sir?” the dealer asks.
“I said all-in!”
“But you don’t have any cards!” he says.
I look down. No cards.
“Where the fuck are my cards?”
“I scooped them into the muck when you took the chip off.”
“I said all-in! I picked that chip up as I was pushing my stacks over the line. The chips were over the line and the cards were behind the line.”
“Sorry. They are mucked.”
No apology. No remorse. No recourse. No nothing.
Seat 10 shows A-K.
The player in the middle shows quad 9s.
We would have hit the bad beat jackpot for $350,000.
Instead, I went home broke.
And feeling lousy.
